


The Reason

by Jenthetrulysly



Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010) RPF
Genre: M/M, O'Caan
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-04-21
Updated: 2012-04-21
Packaged: 2017-11-04 00:54:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,909
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/387867
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jenthetrulysly/pseuds/Jenthetrulysly
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Alex’s discovered just what was missing in his life which made the stint in rehab absolutely fucking torturous hell.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Reason

**Author's Note:**

  * For [BFive0](https://archiveofourown.org/users/BFive0/gifts).



> Disclaimer: this was intended to be a gift story for a good friend and nothing more. I do not mean any disrespect or any means of offence to the real people on which this story is based.

Alex was glad to be back on set. The last few weeks had been rather harrowing and given the games of late night ‘what if’ he had been playing with himself, if asked whether he would do it again – he wasn’t sure of what his answer would be. On some days, the answer was yes but on others it was a resounding _fucking hell no._

The first few days were torture as his body started the slow process of detoxification and he was tormented by insomnia, chills, shaking and raging bouts of nausea, but gradually they lessened until he had been weened off of the pain medication completely. He could see why trying to quit it cold turkey would have been a disaster. It also didn’t help that his shoulder still occasionally gave him grief and that popping all the ibuprofen in the world didn’t do a damn thing. 

Still, he was here in one piece. He had a lot of loose ends to tie up, given the way that he had just thrown in the gauntlet and left. He hadn’t told Scott, and perhaps he should have. The only person Alex had told was Peter, and that was because he had no choice but to explain why he had to take the time off.  Peter had been really supportive, telling him to take all the time he needed.

There would probably be a lot of resentment on the set, because that was just how things went as far as he was concerned but he was surprised to come back to a rousing show of understanding and support as the entire set stood up and gave him a standing ovation. He felt floored, touched by the depths of the goodness of the people before him as he brought a hand to wipe at the corner of his eye, surprised to find it dry when he brought it back down. The warmth of these people was touching, and it infiltrated everywhere such that it wasn’t long before he found himself beaming back at them as they clapped their hands on his back and welcomed him back into the fold, as a mate.

He tried to ignore the conspicuous absence of the familiar head of slicked back blonde hair. No matter how hard he scanned, he couldn’t see it. When he flicked his eyes back to Scott’s trailer, he could see the door was firmly closed.

“Welcome back, brah,” Daniel grinned with his usual insouciance, “We missed having you around – Scott’s been a nightmare to work with.”

At the mention of that name, Alex felt the cheerful mood droop slightly. His smile dimmed as he replied. “How’s the bugger doing, mate?”

“Like he always has,” the Korean actor stated meaningfully. “By being as loud and crazy as he can, as if he’s doing double duty for the both of you. I guess-”

“I _guess_ ,” Grace emphasized, appearing out of nowhere to hook her arm with Alex’s before steering the three of them through the crowd, toward Scott’s trailer. “It’s his way of showing that he misses you. He’s determined to make us all suffer as much as he does, and then some.”

“That ‘some’ meaning working on a scene with Scott is about as enjoyable as going to-”

“Okay, okay,” Alex finally conceded, holding up a hand to stem the verbal tirade. If he didn’t get in early who knew how long those two would go at it - it was clear that this was a very sore spot with them. He sighed and found himself standing at the front of the door to Scott’s trailer as the two Koreans rounded on him. He swallowed, waiting for what they were going to say.

Daniel gave him a look of pained sympathy before clapping a hand on his shoulder. “Take it easy on him, don’t let his words get to you-”

“Try not to take it personally if he tries to tear you a new one-”

“It’s just his way of showing he cares,” the Asian man finished off, before letting go of Alex’s shoulder.

“Seriously, go kiss and make up, already.” Grace added, grinning in that bemused way of hers, before smacking his backside playfully. “Time is of the essence, he’s probably stewing in mutinous rage in there.”

“Thanks guys, for making this so damn palatable,” Alex, muttered as he ascended the steps, his heavy steps those of a condemned man. 

“You’re _welcome,_ ” she replied, because Grace Park was a heartless son of a bitch in a female body – no wonder she played Kono Kalakaua so well. With a terse nod, Alex pulled open the door and stepped inside. 

Daniel and Grace stood there, staring at the closed door before turning to face each other. Daniel sighed before attempting to bury his head in his hands.

“What?” Grace finally asked, her brow rising questioningly.

“He should have knocked first,” he said, shaking his head as he flicked his brown gaze at her. “He just waltzed in there like he was gone just yesterday, not weeks.”

Grace looked long and hard at the door, her brow furrowing in pensive thought before she finally spun around and headed for the lunch table. “You are thinking way too hard about this, they’ll work it out, even if it kills them. Anyway, get your tac-vest on already, we got to finish shooting that scene!”

**\----------------**

The sound of the lock clicking was like thunder as he closed the trailer door, his hand lingering on the knob as he swallowed. The silence only lasted a millisecond though, before Scott was on him, tearing verbal strips off him, but the surprising thing was, he just stood there and _let_ him.

“For fuck’s sake,” Scott’s highly-strung voice rang out. Alex watched as he slowly lowered the dog-eared script clutched in his hand before the bundle of paper was lying on the table and the blonde haired man levelled his piercing clear blue gaze onto him as he crossed his arms. “Was there a fucking conference about this that I didn’t know about? But it’s too late, cause the invites were sent out weeks ago.”

Scott was angry. Really angry, if the tense set of his shoulders and the murderous vibes he could feel coming off of his friend were an indicator. He was holding himself rigidly still, as if he was restraining himself from hauling off and belting into Alex.

Accepting his silence as guilt, or remorse, or something, Scott continued. The bitter disappointment joined the anger in his voice and gave it an edge, causing Alex to wince. “Imagine this, okay, imagine one day a great mate of yours suddenly disappears. Think of Paul Hogan or whatever. Doesn’t take his calls, doesn’t give you any indicator that he’s got serious issues happening in his life, that something’s wrong, but suddenly just upends and fucking leaves.”

“Look, I’m _sorry._ ” Alex finally mumbled more to himself then anything, averting his steely blue gaze to the floor as he stared at his shoes. He hated how even though he really meant it, the words came out as trite as ever. “I didn’t leave – I came back,” he pointed out, but it was possibly the worst thing he could have done.

“He fucking _leaves,_ ” Scott stressed, his voice spitting the last ‘esse’ sound as he glared. Ranting usually helped to alleviate whatever negative emotion he was experiencing, but here all it does is make him angrier. “Doesn’t bother taking one minute of his time to at least call and say ‘hey, going through a crisis here,’ doesn’t take a minute of his fucking time to-”

Feeling the anger build, Alex was unable to stem the tide as it rose to meet Scott’s. “Is that what you see this as? A fucking tiny crisis?” he scoffed, alarmed at how invective was pouring out of him. “Well I said I was sorry, and I really did mean it, mate. This was one of those things that I felt I had to do by myself. I didn’t want to get you involved in it anymore then you had to. Fuck it,” he rubbed his face tiredly, taking a deep breath to calm down. “We failed each other, man.”

The tension in the air thick and stifling, but neither man yielded to the temptation to speak as the stalemate dragged on. “Why?” Scott finally sighed softly, breaking the ice. “Just tell me the fuck why. Why don’t we start with that?”

Heaving a sigh that went down to his very toes, Alex moved to drag the chair by the dressing table in front of Scott before plonking down on the rickety thing as his mind twisted the ways he was going to answer this question. He settled on the truth. Scott knew him well enough to know his candour. “I know, and I assume you’ve been following the media circus about it in the _Star Advertiser_ at least? So you have a basic understanding of why I went away, is that right?”

“Yeah, of course I did,” Scott replied in a forced level tone as he reached for the bottle of water on the table next to him and twisted the cap off, taking a deep swig before continuing. “It was hard to, when your ugly mug was staring back at me while I was eating cereal.”

“I didn’t want you involved because…because,” Alex took a deep steadying breath. How did he convey his thoughts without sounding judgmental? He slowly exhaled, “I didn’t want you getting close to drugs again, Scott. That’s all.” The confession left him feeling extremely tired and he closed his eyes, because that was it, that was-

What he wasn’t expecting was to hear the sounds of a chair scraping against the floor, a drawn out, exasperated sigh before warm arms encircled him and he could feel Scott’s body heat seeping out as he was embraced in a hug before he mumbled against Alex’s ear. “Alex, babe, we are fucking idiots.”

Alex remained rigid, unsure of what to do and whether he had been forgiven. As the seconds ticked by and Scott showed no inclination of letting go, he decided that he had been. Slowly, with the delicacy as if he was handling the most fragile of glass, scared that it would break between his hands, Alex brought his hands to encircle Scott’s back and reciprocate the hug, drawing the blonde haired actor closer to him to press his face in the angle of Scott’s shoulder and he sighed in relief. “We fucking are – cause love means never having to say you’re sorry.”

Scott manoeuvred enough to look at Alex in the eye, his brow furrowed in distaste as he eyed the Australian actor critically. “Wait, you, Mr Rambo-wannabe, are quoting _Love Story?_ ” 

“It might have stuck in my mind,” Alex agreed as he grinned. Things were good between them now, like how they should be, and Scott’s beaming expression was the icing on the cake before he was drawn in for a kiss as sweet as honey and reminded exactly of what he let go of, what made all those nights in rehab longer and the days painful.

It struck him just how stupid he had been, and he promised himself that he’d do his best not to make that mistake again as the fingers on his left hand twined in the small hairs on the nape of Scott’s neck.  

 

**PAU**


End file.
